As we look back, we can always find moments of manipulation in our relationships. Whether you saw you parents doing to each other, your best friend using all sorts of techniques to get what she wanted or, and especially, our dear media and religions with their very deep ways to make us feel less than. Manipulation is one of the greatest ways to control through the fear of not being good enough, of not being accepted and at some point we have all been a part of it, on both ends as manipulator and manipulated. It is only when we recognize the existence of this trait, that we can actively work on changing the way we see and act towards connection and love.
I see all around me how romantic love is often seen as a set of games of manipulation these days and it surprises me to know how much people enjoy the endless hunt and hunter games thinking that this is the way to love, to attract love and to be loved. It is in my heart that love is held by the pillars of devotion, dedication, truth and respect and that the games of the ego will really be detrimental to a true loving relationship. It is in my heart that love is a conscious daily choice to be with someone imperfect and constant changing. It is in my heart that love shall always make you feel free to be yourself, fully.
Love is devotion in action. It is seeing your partner as is and loving him with all your heart as you understand his humanity within the boundaries of your own self love. It is listening to him with attention, talking to him with respect, touching him with kindness, walking together as one.
Love is dedication to yourself. It is the understanding your partner is a mirror and that not all that is seen will be pretty but that you only transform through loving actions and thoughts. It is taking the time to share each other’s moments and build a safe home for both within your hearts. It is taking breaths together in this planet, taking time to self and the other, it is working on improving yourself as you assist him to grow as well.
Love is truth. It is knowing you can always speak and you will be respectfully heard. It is letting your heart do the talking, expressing yourself with no fear and no expectations. It is knowing you are safe and protected within the relationship not because it might last forever but because it is where your entire heart is in the present. The truth of each word, action and presence. The accountability for one’s mistakes. The true will to make the relationship better every single day because you know life is sweeter when you can share it with your love.
Love is respect. Respect for yourself that is shown by how you live, how you speak, how you act towards yourself, others and him. Respect for his heart, his feelings, his emotions even if they do not make sense to you. Respect for his family, his ideas and his wishes. It is treating one another just how you like to be treated, consciously aware of his heart and his time dedicated to you.
But most of all, love is free. It is there because it wants to and never because it has to and every single action and word should reflect that. The wish to be with, the caring and admiration, the support and protection of what is being built together. In that, love feels like fuel to who you already are. Love will always make you feel more and never less than. Love will always nudge you to be your best version of yourself. Love will always take you high into unknown powerful spaces within your heart. In the most simple, peaceful, non dramatic, non competitive, delicious ways, love will make you see the light you truly are.