I have been observing people, reactions, comments and judgement lately. I have also been working with women on my yoga dance workshops that are designed to create self esteem and break down the internal criticism that is always based on external expectation. And holy fuck we do a lot of that!!! To ourselves and to those around us, all the time! We are conditioned to, we don’t even notice how vile and unhealthy this really is. We don’t even notice that life becomes dull and hard and heavy when we forget to love ourselves just so we can please those around us. And as much as it seems easier to play the blame game and make ourselves into a victim (of religion, society, our parents, our partners, you name it), the reality is that we are completely and solely responsible for the misery we create in our lives. SOLELY. And the sooner we get this, the sooner we can set ourselves free.
That freedom comes from not being sorry for being yourself, for your perfection and imperfection, for your knowledge and lack of and for all the little things that make you so unique. Does that mean we settle and never better ourselves? No, that means we flip that big old fuck it switch every time someone or something is trying to push us down and then we take the self love that we grow in our hearts as fuel for change. Real change never comes from outside in, it never comes from hate or disgust. Real change only comes from love. So in order to change something, you must love it first.
Wanna see how that works in real life:
“Oh, your hips have suffered trauma and therefore you will never be the same. You will loose strength and movement and you will have pain” – fancy doctor
“Fuck it. I don’t believe it. Sorry but not sorry” – me (in my head, don’t worry)
“You you never make it on your own with two kids in a foreign country” – no need to name this one
“Fuck it. You don’t know my strength” – me again
“Purple hair? Aren’t you too old for that? – yeah, i heard that
“Nope, life is fun and I don’t care what anyone thinks” – me out loud
“When will you leave this hobby (meaning being a yoga teacher) and have a real job?” – family member
“Never. I love what I do and that is my life purpose. I am sorry you only work for the money” – that one got me in trouble
Point is, if we spend our lives trying to accommodate to everyone around us, we will never be able to be ourselves. So own it. Be it. Love it. No apologies necessary.